Thanksgiving Poetry Found in "The Long Lost Garden of Eden and "Young Man, Go West Books"

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AmericanParent Recommends, "I Want My Kids To Be Happy..." By Aaron Cooper and Eric Kertel for These Tough Economic Times

Parents need not worry about giving gifts to their children this year. The economic problems that our nation is going through can be used a learning tool for many of them.

Psychologist Aaron Cooper has never approved the trendy mentality espoused by many parents, "I just want them to be happy." He is encouraging us to change our attitude.

"There's a once-in-a-lifetime silver lining here," says psychologist Aaron Cooper, Ph.D., an expert on child and family relations with The Family Institute at Northwestern University. "These tough times, especially at the holidays, offer kids four long-term benefits if parents play it right." Plus welcome reassurance to parents who understand the upside.

Cooper has been an outspoken critic of the widespread "I just want them to be happy" mentality, claiming that it handicaps our youth for life and feeds the rising rates of depression, anxiety, and worry.

"We shield youngsters from so much adversity trying to keep them happy," he explains, "that we deprive them of the practice they need navigating rough waters. There's no other way to develop resilience except by facing adversity.


It's a paradox that the first benefit of holiday belt-tightening is the valuable practice kids will have coping with disappointment. Believe it or not, that's exactly the sort of adversity-practice they need." "Less is more" is how Cooper describes the second benefit. "Research shows that children who grow up receiving a never-ending stream of stuff are less grateful for what they have. My hope is that scaled-down holiday spending will stimulate the development of appreciation and thankfulness, especially if cutbacks continue into the new year. After all, do kids really need an average of 70 gifts a year?" How to explain it to the children? Cooper suggests that parents acknowledge honestly the family's reduced resources, saying that what's available has to be shared among everyone at home. He sees this message as the third benefit of the economic downturn.

"After years of hearing us say that their personal happiness is our fondest wish, kids naturally conclude that their needs and wants matter more than anything-more than the needs of family or community or nation," Cooper says. In I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy: Why You Shouldn't Say It, Why You Shouldn't Think It, What You Should Embrace Instead (Late August Press, 2008), he cites excessive self-focus as one of the five reasons parents "shouldn't say it." What will children do without those new iPods or cell phones or videogames? "It's an opportunity to connect more around the holidays, instead of everyone in separate corners with their latest toy or gadget," he says. "How about some family time? Watching movies or baking cookies together, exploring a new neighborhood or an afternoon at the skating rink for a fraction of what some of the gifts would cost." Cooper calls enhanced family closeness-the fourth benefit -- the true and greatest blessing during this economic turmoil.

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American Parents' Pursuit of Happiness: "I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy." Should You Care About Kids' Happiness?

In I Want My Kids to Be Happy by Aaron Cooper and Eric Kertel,, you will read about a current epidemic that his afflicting many parents. They want their kids' happiness above all other benefits. The authors state that this kind of parenting mentality is detrimental to the the very kids they thought about helping. Parents have been focusing too much energy on things that they can not control. Toys, plastic surgery and money can not buy happiness. Parents must know that there some limits. All they have to do is lay the groundwork, the foundation on which the kids can build in the years ahead.

It has been shown that many parents are obsessing over their kids' happiness. They tend to let them do whatever they want. It is complete license under the guise of happiness. There is nothing wrong with wanting one's kids to be happy within the right parameters. When it comes to sacrificing everything else in an unstoppable effort to reach that nirvana, many parents have failed. These parents have clearly twisted Thomas Jefferson's "The Pursuit of Happiness."

These days, many parents want to be their kids' best friends. They care less about parenting. All they want to be is to be buddies with their own kids who never hesitate to abuse this type of relationship. Popular and destructive trends as "parents as bestfriends" damage the right balance of power. These parents tend to give into whims, demands and tantrums. Kids can pout and go off for a while. All throughout the ages, kids have been doing the same thing for ever. After a while, they will get back to their senses. We, Americans, have become victims of our own success. We think we can shower kids with presents and money in order to make them happy. Happiness is something from within. It is not an external quality. Surely money can make life easier, but it is not all about it. In the past few years, we have seen that the happiness trend is reinforced by the media, advertising industry and, in general, the consumer culture. "Who has amassed more toys ends up being happy" goes the saying. The marketplace tends to sell shortcuts to happiness by directly advertising some pills and practices to you, consumers.

How about more parents wishing their kids got a solid education which is a sure way of assuring their future employment? Emphasis on education should be primary. Instead of thinking about making kids happy, we need to think about raising them with good moral values, compassionate hearts, great work ethics, respect for others and a willingness to take responsibility for their own actions.

In this book, you will read about happiness from the child and parents' perspective .

"Today's children are unhappy, worried, anxious and depressed in a staggering degree previously unheard of. In a mind-opening study referred to several times throughout the book, over 50% of ninth grade students, when asked about their degree of happiness, responded that they felt "unhappy, sad or depressed" (pg. 3). Clearly these children have been raised on the "I want my kids to be happy" platform where happiness from the parent's perspective is not genuine or of any real benefit to the kids.

Cooper and Keitel present three happiness myths, which can be viewed as the backbone for the lessons of happiness our children are familiar with:

Money and happiness are directly proportionate, Achievement and happiness are directly proportionate, Options are proportionate to happiness."

In the book, you will find these key principles:
I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy! explains it all:

"Here are eight key ingredients that have been found to be an integral part of the lives of happy people (and how you can plant the seeds of these eight ingredients beginning while your children are young).
five aspects of CHILDHOOD that lay a foundation for happy lives (and what you can do to establish that foundation before the kids are grown).
one early life experience that serves as a safety net when life causes us to stumble (and how you can provide that all-important experience for your son or daughter).
HOBBIES, CLUBS & INTERESTS that best promote your child's happiness today and into the future (and how you can identify the ones that are right for your child).
ONE FAMILY ACTIVITY that helps protect kids and teens from some of the biggest problems—sources of unhappiness—affecting young people today (and how you can make this activity part of your family's life).
THE single attribute IN YOUR CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT that matters most—for your child's welfare, and for the welfare of the world."


The book connection ccm has a great review of the book too. Find at The Book Connection ccm

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